Spent three hours getting dressed up for a grand family anniversary function tonight. Pressed my best outfit, did my hair, felt cautiously good about myself before stepping out. I left the venue three hours later without a single photograph. I wanted so badly to ask someone for a solo portrait for once, but my social anxiety completely paralyzed me. Everyone there was in tight-knit social circles, laughing effortlessly, while I spent the night hovering near the drinks counter feeling like an invisible ghost. The minute a camera pointed anywhere in my vicinity, my posture stiffened, my throat went dry, and intense body dysmorphia kicked in. How do people effortlessly take pictures of themselves in public without feeling overwhelmingly perceived and embarrassed? I'm so exhausted of letting self-consciousness rob me of memories.